Damn it

[Mad Dan Eccles]

Just had a bit of a revelation, an epiphany.

As a practising scientist (I have to practise; I haven't got it right yet) and a man of faith and a general all-round nice chap (quiet in the peanut gallery) I've finally, at the age of 37, figured out what I want to do with my life.

I want to be a 'science communicator'.

Bugger.

[Daughter of Darwin]

But this is fantastic, Dan! Go with it! You aren't too old - who can communicate science until they know what they are actually doing? I love it. And am hoping that Strayla has as many opportunities as we do here in Britain.

[Octavia]

Yeah, go for it if that's what you want! Can you sharre what is was that pushed you over the precipice on this decision? I'd be curious to hear...

[Freddie]

I voted 'no' not becuse I believe you're ugly but because I've got friends who left science and now they are really regretting it. You have to be absolutely sure before you make that step. Hell, this is probably sounding patronising - I'm sure you've weighed all the pros and cons. But once you leave, it's nigh on impossible to return.

[Mad Dan Eccles]

Yeah, I know, Freddie.

That's it - I really enjoy what I do, but I can't help thinking . . .

Argh. Maybe I feel I've done my bit for the science and now want to do my bit for the people. I seem to come alive more when I'm writing. I'm not about to make any rash decisions, but I have been thinking 'do I really want to keep doing this for the rest of my life?'. I promised myself that as soon as I stop enjoying it I'm getting out. That hasn't happened, but I'm finding that I wish I had more time to *write*.

Doing the Labrats weblog has brought it more to the front of my mind, to not-really-answer Octavia.

I'm terrible at parties - I like to tell people about what I'm doing - but maybe if I was being paid to do *that* it wouldn't be as fun.

All that's pretty incoherent, I think I wanted to think aloud for a bit. Thanks for indulging me.

[Beatrice]

You still love doing science? Oh dear...maybe it's not time to quit. Why not 'work to rule' - start cutting back to more reasonable hours (9-6, M-F) which gives you more time to write. And does your university support 'outreach' as British ones do? Here there is actually an obligation to do stuff like this some fraction of the time and most universities are desperate to find scientists willing to do it.

[amy c.]

Yeah, any chance you could do both? You're a good writer with a clear voice, but it's a hell of an unstable way to live. What do you think -- fat consulting gig plus freelance writer? Temp scientist plus writer?

[Mad Dan Eccles]

Heh, yes - sounds like I left the UK at the wrong time. I was just getting involved in public outreach at the MRC when I had to leave.

A fat consulting gig sounds good. Post-doc for hire, exorbitant rates.

[tideliar]

Well, you made the front page, Mad Dan. Congrats!

That service thingy in the UK sounds sweet. I, too, am debating my future as an academic bench scientist. It's terrifying knowing that if I leave the ivory tower, I might never make it back to the security of a lab, but...I just don't feel it anymore...

What's "it"? Not sure completely, but the ups when data arrive aren't compensating for the downs when the data don't. And I'm actually acquiring masses of nice data right now! I'm just really finding it increasingly hard to give a shit...

[amy c.]

You disillusioned: what's brought it on, do you think? What's responsible for the lack of buzz?

[Mad Dan Eccles]

/me looks at the Forum index.

Hmm. I think a new Category is called for.

Edit: /me has a woman's look at the Forum index.

Tiddles, we should start a 'whinge' topic in http://forums.lablit.com/viewforum.php?f=11 .

The scientific life is varied and full of highs and lows, heady dicoveries and doleful disillusionment.

Additionally, I want to know what a heady dicovery is, and am I overdue one?

[amy c.]

Ah, the culture of entitlement. Just like the Republickans said.

[Mad Dan Eccles]

That's the 'Dole'ful thing, yes?

[tideliar]

You disillusioned: what's brought it on, do you think? What's responsible for the lack of buzz?

dunno. look at my blog and see a recent post. not self-agrandising, or flag waving or anything...to be honest I think it all comes from a genuine fear that I'm not good enough, or that if I am, the odds against success are so great what's the point in trying?

50% of postdocs go for 14% of faculty places.

The NIH only funds ~!)% of its RO1 grants.

no RO1, no tenure. game over. bye bye.

[Octavia]

Er yes, Tidy, was just going to ask you what planet you were on when you wrote this:

never make it back to the security of a lab...

??!

I quite like Amy's transitionary idea of dabbling in both, see how you like the water before you plunge. But you guys can't all leave me here alone holding the test-tube! Noooooo! Come back!....